Anger Management

Anger is one of the most basic of human emotions.  It is linked with human survival and can be a normal response to feeling threatened by situations or people.  But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems in our relationships around us.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a co-worker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

Sometimes, a person is not even aware of the source of the anger…just the resulting aggression.  It can be a response to feelings of being unsafe, disrespected, attacked, pressured, trapped, or offended.  While we may not necessarily be aware of these initial feelings, if they are intense enough and perceived to be real threats, they may trigger the feeling of anger. Before we know it, we have labelled the entire emotional experience simply as “Anger” when in fact there was a feeling present before anger.

Anger Management in Victoria

Is it good to “Let it all hang out?”  According to the American Psychological Association, this can be a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. “Letting it rip” with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you’re angry with) resolve the situation.  It’s best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

Anger management can help a person better understand the true source of the angry feelings and the response to this powerful emotion.  Through practiced techniques, one can better recognize the warning signs, the mounting feelings and learn how to manage it more effectively.

Anger Management Counselling

A big part of anger management counselling is helping a person understand their triggers.  This can help a person better recognize the initial feelings before the anger really takes hold.  Think of it like a rising wave.  It is a way to get on top of the wave before it crashes to the shore.

Once a person begins to know the triggers and the initial feelings that are rising, they can then develop techniques to stay in control.  Asking yourself the following questions can help:

  • What am I trying to control ?
  • What do I have control of in this situation?
  • Why am I so bothered by this?
  • Are there other situations that feel like this for me?

Slowing the process down and recognizing the feelings can help a person stay in control versus resorting to the survival part of their brain.

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