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Is your relationship in deep trouble if you don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day and relationships go together like bees and honey!  But do you and your partner celebrate it?  And more to the point, does it say anything about your relationship if you do?  But about about if you don’t celebrating it?

Well, the answer is ‘it depends’.  But this post is about something just a little bit off the topic of Valentine’s Day.

Research on relationships clearly shows that when couples do ‘small things often’, rather than ‘big things seldom’ tend to fair better in regards to the degree of relationship ‘health’ and satisfaction.

What does that actually mean? Well, small, positive things done often are the difference in thriving relationship. Rather than doing ‘large positive things’ infrequently, such as waiting to go on a vacation. These small positive things, ie., bringing your spouse a coffee in the morning, or a silly text message in the middle of a workday, are positive contributions into the goodwill of your relationship.  As this goodwill-factor grows, the relationship builds are stronger reservoir and foundation to better respond to mundane daily and relationship matters that come up. Suddenly, it isn’t that big a deal about who took the garbage out last.

So, if you do or don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day is really not the question. Rather, do you ‘invest’ in your relationship with small positives on a regular basis. It can be suggested that  if you are acknowledging your relationship only on Valentine’s Day, it is likely your relationship need some deliberate efforts  and attention.

 

 

George is the Clinical Director at Waypoint Counselling & Referral Centre. He has been a Registered Clinical Counsellor since 1991, working and teaching in a variety of counselling settings.

Waypoint counsellors are here to help when learning to deal with bad moods. Our office in downtown Victoria is a safe place to receive guidance and help make the best decisions to do with you life.

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