Negative Thinking Among Older Adults
Negative thinking is that voice in our head that tells us that things won’t work out. It tells us that we will end up failing at something, or people just don’t like us. It is not an uncommon problem and can lead to a destructive spiral if not addressed.
As we get older, the habit of filling our thoughts with negativity can get worse. For example, if we are experiencing physical limitations, loss of loved ones, and feelings of isolation and loneliness, our thoughts can easily turn to negativity.
One of the biggest pitfalls for many older adults is the habit of ruminating on the past, of failures, unattained goals or personal/professional regrets. This tends to magnify the negative aspects of past events while minimizing the positive memories and successful events. Negative thoughts begin to “take on a life of their own” and colour our day to day lives. We lose the ability to feel enjoyment in our lives as we focus on our perceived regrets and shortcomings.
Constant worrying and catastrophizing can easily lead to social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem. Our day to day behaviours also begin to spiral into negativity. For example, if a person’s worrying is telling them they are not well liked in their social circle, they might feel awkward and stressed in those situations. The resulting behaviour might be to avoid talking to people or avoiding social situations, thus further establishing and reinforcing negative thought cycles. This only compounds feelings of loneliness and depression.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. The cycle of negative thinking can be interrupted using well researched approaches that have proven to make a difference.
Steps to Overcome Negative Thinking
- Get curious and become an observer of your own thoughts.
- Instead of allowing yourself to get pulled into worrying thought patterns, think of yourself as a detective and try to objectively notice the negative pattern. Don’t immediately believe everything you think.
- Write them down. This is a very powerful tool as it forces you to be objective and can slow down the negative spiral. Once you have a collection of thoughts, is there a pattern to them? Do they tend to focus on the same negative theme? Is there a time of day or trigger that makes the thoughts tend to crop up?
- Challenge the accuracy of the thoughts by looking for the evidence. Become a litigator of your thoughts and patterns. This is a very powerful way to begin to break the pattern.
- Try and see all your thoughts as just what they are – thoughts and not facts. Ask yourself some questions such as “What concrete, indisputable evidence do I have that this is true?” or “Am I over generalizing how one experience applies to all?”
- Practice mindfulness. Simply said, mindfulness is basically “living in the moment”. It does not include multitasking or allowing thoughts to carry us away from what we are doing. Some easy ways to start:
- Try out mindful walking outside. Focus your attention on what you are observing around you such as the colour of the leaves, the sound of the wind through the branches, and the scents around you. If your thoughts begin to intrude on your walk, gently return your attention to the present experience of walking outside. This serves to reduce the power and frequency of negative thoughts.
- Find a quiet and comfortable place to focus on your breath for 10 minutes, once a day. Close your eyes focus on each inhalation and exhalation. If thoughts begin to intrude, gently return your attention back to your breath. This daily habit, although brief, serves to interrupt the negative thought spiral.
Above all, practice self-compassion and be kind to yourself. If you are interested in learning techniques to help you combat your negative thoughts, you might consider working with a counsellor who specializes in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness or Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT).
This article was published in the recent online edition of GRAND magazine.
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